Friday, September 11, 2009

Does it Hurt When You're on the Toilet?



Hi Matty,

How do you feel? Ribs can be tricky.

I strongly suggest you stay off them for a while. And go see Dr. S_____ . He loves you guys.

Does it hurt when you're on the toilet? I imagine that sneezing or twisting must be agonizing for you! Oh boy. Stay home for a while.

Are you and R_____ free on Wednesday? Dad and I want to go for duck. Yum yum!!!!

Love,
Mom








Rib X-Ray



Hi Matty,

How did you make out today at the doctor? Please let us know. Did he x-ray your ribs? Did he say you should lose weight again? I'm so glad you're not smoking any more. Are you free Sept. 19?

Love,
Mom






Sophie & The Skeleton

Hi Matt,

Please call your sister. Apparently has 2 imaginary friends, one's a skeleton and one's named Sophie. She was playing in her room for hours with them this afternoon while I was over. It's very strange if you ask me.

Love,
Mom





Philly Pulled Pork



Hi Matt,

Don't forget that we have tickets for Monday night. The Phillies come to town but dad and I can't go. Perhaps the girls might be able to join you or ask friends if you would like.

Matty if you bring a friend, please bring someone nice. The people in our section are so nice and I don't want any of your friends getting out of control or dropping their pulled pork on them. Please let me know because I have the tickets and parking pass with me.

Ok, I'll be in the car if you need me.

Love,
Mom









Happy Belated Birthday, Pop!



Hi Matt,

Just want to remind you that tomorrow is Pop's birthday. We celebrated over four months ago so it is easy to forget. He'll be home all morning.

Love,
Mom









No Movie For My Mom


Hi Matt,

We just watched No Country for Old Men. What a horrible movie. I can't tell you how upset I was. Something's wrong with you. Dad loved it.

We'll see you on Saturday? Hope so!

Love,
Mom







Sweet Potato Text


6:32am


Quick questions: did you ever try those sweet potato fries? If yes, what did you think? If no, why not?









Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Don't Be Late to the Funeral


Dear John,


We will most likely need to be at funeral home by 9:00am prior to motorcading over to St. Raymond's Church.

YOU MUST BE ON TIME!!


Love,
Mom



The Floppy Plate


Dear John,


Be very careful when you take leftovers out of the fridge . . . Foil is cheap and plate is floppy!

Love,
Mom







Thursday, September 3, 2009

No Sex or Drugs Down The Shore

Dear Mike,

Have fun down the shore this Memorial Day Weekend! Remember, no drugs and no sex with girls (or guys).

Love,
Mom

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Don't Over-feed the Rabbit!


Dear John,


Just some items:

We will be gone from Saturday to Sunday the 24th arriving back to JFK 7:35am from a night flight out of LAX at 11:30 the 23rd. We are working on getting my brother to pick us up since its so early in the morning.

I left the rabbit food at the entrance to the garage so its easy to feed him daily after you get home from work. Please don't forget about him! Don't overfeed, he wastes . . .

If it snows, you will need to take the Acura out of the garage to get the snowblower out safely. Dad has checked it out to be sure it runs - hopefully you won't need it. If it's light snow, please shovel the walk for us. Don't try to use the snowblower unless it's deep! Just be concerned with the outer walk and so people don't know we are away! Thanks.

We are at the Comfort Inn, 2815 Santa Monica Blvd, Santa Monica CA phone #310-828-XXXX as of Sunday the 17th. And of course you have our cell phone numbers.

On Thursday or Friday we will be going to a place called Catalina Island which is an hour off the coast of CA. Just telling you in case our cell phones don't work - we will call you and check in during the week.

The mail and the newspapers have been stopped until Saturday the 23rd so if you see it around, bring it in - it's a mistake.

Have a nice week . . .

Love,
Mom








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About The Author

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Long Island, NY, United States
I am 33 years old and grew up in a very small town on the South Shore of Long Island, NY. I am a writer, collector, and artist working in online advertising. This collection of notes is respectfully dedicated to one of the most unique, eccentric women I have ever known -- my mother. Thanks for reading!