THE CAT IS DEAD: No Sex or Drugs Down The Shore

Dear Mike,

Have fun down the shore this Memorial Day Weekend! Remember, no drugs and no sex with girls (or guys).

Love,
Mom

WHAT IS THE CAT IS DEAD?

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For the past 20 years, I have been collecting hand-written notes from my Mom. I first started saving them in high school in the early 90’s. Before long, I had an entire shoe box filled.

The collection grew quickly: throughout high school, college, and into adulthood. Very few of her notes are happy; most of them are anxious or upset, even downright disturbing – but always (unintentionally) HYSTERICAL

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking . . .

What does all this have to do with a dead cat?!

Our family had a house cat named Silky. My Mom got her in the late 80’s when she was just a kitten, from the gutter in the alley behind a hair salon. The cat, in my mother's mind, was a nuisance for most of her life with us. But my little sister and I loved our cat dearly - she was a member of our family.

Later, in her old age, Silky started uncontrollably puking, peeing, and pooping all over the house.

I came home one day & discovered that Silky had puked on the carpet in the living room, seconds after my Mom had it shampooed.