After Work

I wanted to cross out "after" and write "during" - that would have really thrown her off!

KEEP UP WITH THE POOPS!

My Mom took our pup to the vet and left us this note. For some reason, in addition to telling us how well-behaved our dog was, she felt the need to remind us to clean up the dog "poops" in the yard "so the gardener doesn't make a mess." 

Important to note is the solid black line that visually separates the two thoughts . . .

DO NOT USE (especially to poop)

Handtruck Loaner

I might have missed the memo, but is there a rise in handtruck theft these days?

Refrigerator Door

Sometimes you have to be reminded how to close the fridge.

And sometimes you have to be reminded again when you're leaving the house!

Chicken Car

Yeah, there was a bag of raw chicken hanging on the door knob of my car the other day, to give to my dog of course!

(don't leave in car though - it will smell - P.U.!!)

Broken Couch

Time for a new couch?

Chaos in the Kitchen

A lot of people have been emailing asking to see some shots from the house. Here are a few from the kitchen . . .

First off, always remember to "keep calm."

-- and clean the oven.

-- and freeze sauce.

Don't forget to "do bills."

"To-do" tasks and reminders line the walls . . .

Box on the right filled with take-out menus.

Visually stimulating AND decorative! 

Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend they are a nice plant or flower vase.

Inspiration from ZITS

ZITS

by Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman

ArcaMax Publishing

HEAVY Drinking

I had my 2 best friends over at my parents house one night for a few beers (the top note was left on the kitchen table the next morning). 

PS. this was written last week during Christmas break. 

I am 33 years old.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays 
from The Cat is Dead

The SWAT Team Wouldn't Let Me Use the Bathroom

(click image to enlarge)

Dear John,

Oh boy am I having a terrible week! The kids in my new classroom are all bouncing off the walls, and I have to hold this one kid's hand at all times because he wiggles like a snake and throws himself on the floor. 

I came home from work yesterday and the street was blocked off by the police. I worked all day and all I wanted to do was change my pants and use the bathroom, but the SWAT Team wouldn't let me into the house for over 2 hours. Apparently someone in the neighborhood was holding his family hostage and there was a stand-off.

Please be careful son, there are a lot of crazy people out there and you know how I worry!

Love,

Mom

Forget About Christmas

(click image to enlarge)

Happy Anniversary (from me & my selfish sister)

(click image to enlarge)

Where is my brush?

John,

Where is my brush?! I was in a rush to get out of the house today and had no time to look for it. You know I can't use any other brush! I hope you're not playing a joke on me, because if you are I am NOT laughing!

Please return it to the bin on top of the toilet immediately.

Love, Mom

(click image to enlarge and see the actual brush in all of its glory!)