THE CAT IS DEAD: Salt & Pepper Recycling

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Salt & Pepper Recycling

Dear John,

If you go out later, please return these empty salt & pepper shakers to Wendy's and take a new pair for your Grandmother. She is all out of condiments. Don't let them see you do it -- then you'll have to explain and I do not want you to be embarassed!

Love,
Mom

3 comments:

MelissaRoseSeptember 17, 2009 at 12:39 PM
HAHAHAHAHA
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Aunt JoanneSeptember 24, 2009 at 2:52 PM
You forgot about how your great-grandmother use to cut the paper plates in half when we had birthday cake. That was one of my favorites.
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Jena JJuly 25, 2010 at 10:31 PM
My stomach HURTS from laughing so hard at this one!! I had no idea...
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WHAT IS THE CAT IS DEAD?

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For the past 20 years, I have been collecting hand-written notes from my Mom. I first started saving them in high school in the early 90’s. Before long, I had an entire shoe box filled.

The collection grew quickly: throughout high school, college, and into adulthood. Very few of her notes are happy; most of them are anxious or upset, even downright disturbing – but always (unintentionally) HYSTERICAL

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking . . .

What does all this have to do with a dead cat?!

Our family had a house cat named Silky. My Mom got her in the late 80’s when she was just a kitten, from the gutter in the alley behind a hair salon. The cat, in my mother's mind, was a nuisance for most of her life with us. But my little sister and I loved our cat dearly - she was a member of our family.

Later, in her old age, Silky started uncontrollably puking, peeing, and pooping all over the house.

I came home one day & discovered that Silky had puked on the carpet in the living room, seconds after my Mom had it shampooed.